Thoughtful Thursday

All of us have burdens we are carrying.  It may be a strained relationship with a loved one. It may be the pain of how you view yourself. It may be the things that are happening outside of us in the world that we have no control over.  Many hearts feel heavy.   I have a reminder for you.  Relax your body.  Your shoulders.  Your neck.  Your jaw. Take a deep breath.  Now put your hand on your heart and repeat after me........ I am OKAY. I am SAFE.  I am LOVED. "Be strong and of good courage" (Joshua 1:9) I bet you needed to hear that today. I know that I did.

Did you know it isn't about you? I know, it feels so true.  As humans, our brains want to make it about us. But the truth is, it really isn't about you. When your children choose differently than you have taught them.  Not about you.  Your husband's behavior.  Not about you.  Your friend not replying to your texts.  Not about you.  When a loved one leaves the church.  Not about you. When someone says something that you believe is unkind. Not about you. What if this is true? How would you feel? How would you show up in your life? What would your relationships look like by embracing this belief?

  This month in the Seasons of Joy Community I am talking about abundance. Stephen Covey teaches about the difference between a scarcity mindset and an abundant mindset in his best-selling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People . A scarcity mentality refers to people seeing life as a finite pie. If one person takes a big piece then this leaves less for everyone else. Many of us have been conditioned to have a scarcity mentality. Believing that there isn't enough for everyone. Resources, success, happiness, money, or promotions are limited. Micromanaging, withholding information, and short-term thinking are common. This mindset holds us back from reaching for our goals. It prevents us from discovering opportunities and possibilities because we are so focused on what we lack. This mindset is based on fear. Fear of not being enough or that our life isn't enough. An abundance mindset is the opposite of this. It is expansive. Believing that there is enough out there for...

In Tonya Dalton's book, The Joy of Missing Out, she shares a concept called Marble Jar Moments. Marble Jars have been used by teachers forever as a method to encourage good behavior. I have used it myself when working with children. Basically, every time the children do something good, you drop a marble in a jar. Then the jar fills up, the class earns some kind of reward. Half of the fun of this is the anticipation of watching the jar fill up. The kids get excited when they can watch and hear the marble rattle into the jar. There can be power in the marble jar because it reinforces good work. We all want to be recognized for our efforts, right? We want people to notice the good we have done and to get credit for it. Tonya shares, however, that we all have an invisible marble jar we carry around with us, striving to fill it.  Got up and worked out....marble jar!  Cleaned the house.....marble jar!  Cooked a healthy dinner....marble jar! And so our day continues with marbles...

I have had the privilege over the last few weeks to be taught by some of the best life coaches.  It has been so fun to be able to gather with others in person and learn. I will admit it was like drinking out of a fire house but it was incredible. One thing I realized after this amazing month is that the basics of human behavior and coaching never change. One of those basics is that we all want other people to change so that we can feel better.  Even those of us who know it isn't possible to change other people still wish we could at some level. Our brains are designed to seek pleasure, to conserve energy, and to avoid pain. They are built for survival and they are always doing a risk assessment but our brains can't see the difference between emotional and physical threats. This can cause errors in judgement because our brain wants it to be about us. This leads us to want to change others so that we can feel safe. To feel better. Natalie Clay refers to this ...

  Hello, my friends! I want to invite you to think about an issue or a problem that has consumed you for a long time. It could be the choices of others. Your body. A diagnosis. The state of the world. You probably have spent a lot of time and energy trying to control this issue. But are your efforts working? My guess is your answer is no. Otherwise, you would have found a solution to your problem already. What if the issue you are spending so much time and energy thinking about isn't really the problem? What if it is the continuous rumination of the problem? Psychologists refer to this as "dirty" pain. Martha Beck teaches that when we get stuck in believing that things should or ought to be different than they are, we get stuck in proving how we--and life--are bad. I am not suggesting that we shouldn't feel pain. Pain is part of life. We will experience it half of the time. But not all pain is created equal.  "Clean pain" is different....

  Hello, my friends! It is one of my favorite times of year.    Christians all over the world are preparing to celebrate Easter Sunday.  For many of us, as part of the preparation, we reflect on the last week of the Savior's life.  We reflect on his miracles.  His life. His example.  His kindness.  His mercy.  His love. And His grace.  I love this word. Grace. A freely-given favor. I believe we are all looking for a little more grace in our lives. Some are wanting to show a little more grace for themselves. Others are seeking to give other people more grace. And many are seeking the grace of God. So many people believe they are not enough but the truth is we are all loved and seen for who we are right now   and   for who we can become. He is always offering His grace to us. It is available to each of us as we are right now. And it is also available in those moments when we ...