Thoughtful Thursday

  Calm. Curious. Compassionate. The other day I was listening to a podcast and Dr. Wendy Ulrich was a featured guest. She shared what she calls the 3 c's. I keep reflecting on them. These three steps can make all the difference as we navigate the relationships in our lives.  This includes the relationship we have with ourselves and God.  First, be calm. Pause and take a deep breath. There are many things outside of our control but we have the power to choose our response. If we will slow down, we will see that things will be okay. They may not be what we thought they would be. Or, what we necessarily want but it will be okay.  Second, get curious. Take a few steps back and give yourself some space to get a different perspective. Ask yourself questions. Could there be another way to look at it? Dr. Ulrich said to think of the most benevolent reason why someone does something instead of going straight to the worst case scenario.  What is the down side of assuming the best instead of

Today I sat with grief. I called it by name. Grief. I felt it in my chest. My shoulders were heavy. Tears filled my eyes. Grief. My throat was tight. I spoke to myself. "Jill, this is what grief feels like today." I breathed it in. I opened my heart to it. I moved toward it.  I observed myself experiencing grief.  I didn't judge myself. I just allowed it.  The human experience brings with it loss and grief. This is evidence of the love and connection we have with the people in our lives. C.S. Lewis wrote, "The pain now is part of the happiness then.  That is the deal." When we take the time to grieve, we honor our loss and embrace the love and life we shared.  As we move through the seasons of grief and turn to the Savior, we can find hope, healing and meaning. However, the first step is allowing ourselves time to grieve. Today, I sat with grief.

  My sisters and I are caring for our almost 91 year old father. He has had a lot of changes over the last year and a half. Including the passing of my sweet mom. My sisters and I are navigating our way through this new season of life and the challenges that come with  it. We work together to care and love him the best we can.  My dad's body is getting tired and worn out. He is forgetting. He misses my mom terribly. He is lonely. Surrounded by people. But lonely. My brain tells me this is sad and that I need to fix it.  To control things outside of me so I can feel better. But when I come from a place of sadness, worry, frustration or anger, I am not able to show up as the  daughter I want to be.  Instead, it becomes about me wanting him to feel better so that I can feel better. We had an argument last week because I was trying to make him see my point of view on something. Obviously, I believed I was "right."  I knew exactly how things "should" be so everyone c