Thoughtful Thursday & "Should" Lenses

Our brain is amazing!  

Our perception of what will happen in the future is shaped by our past beliefs.

Our brain uses this ability to simplify our life.

It saves energy.

We don't have to continually figure how to do something we have done before like walking, driving a car, or brushing our teeth.

However, this same ability of using past beliefs to shape our expectations actually limits us.

Think about some of the frustrations you have in your life.

Your body.

Your weight loss.

Your relationships with yourself, others, food, or money.

You believe all these things are the cause of your problem.

However, it is the expectation of how you think things should be that is creating the frustration for you.

I should weigh less.

I should be healthier.

I should be better with money.

I should get more sleep.

I shouldn't get so irritated.

I should be able to do more.  

I should be more organized.

I should have a cleaner house.

You could probably list hundreds of shoulds that dictate how you think, feel and show up in your life. 

Many of us believe that our abilities, our job, our body, or other people are the problem.

This leads to feeling frustrated with how things are and dissatisfied with our lives.

But the truth is, it is our expectations that are the problem.

As my mentor, Natalie Brown, says, "We're all walking around seeing life through our own should lenses."

We focus on what we wish things would be like and fight against what is. 

On a deeper level we use these shoulds to to define what a good and valuable person is.

We believe that if we do what we should then we are more valuable and worthy.

This belief creates urgency, importance and eventual pain.

But what if you were to question all the shoulds?

What if you could take off the should lenses and see your life, your circumstances, and yourself for what they are right now?

Is it possible to accept what is with compassion and hope?

Is it possible to intentionally choose what you want to create in your life?

Here are some questions to consider if you are ready to let go of the shoulds: 

What shoulds do I notice in my life?

Where do these shoulds come from?

Why do I believe this is better?

Who decided it was better?

What about what I think?

Do I want to keep believing this is true?

Is there something I can believe that will serve me better?

Kiss the shoulds good-bye!

Give it a try!